Why Do Women Love Bad Boys?

Recently while driving in the car into downtown Atlanta, the on-air hosts at a radio local station were talking about “bad boys” and why women seem to lose all self-control when they fall for one.

My husband and I listened to the women calling in about their stories. We listened to the conversations and one stuck out in particular. A girl called in saying that she had plenty of “normal” guys asking her out but they were just too boring. What she really wanted was a bad boy that called her and treated her nicely.

Dale and I just looked at each other and laughed. Was she serious? The whole point of a bad boy is that they are BAD! They don’t call. They don’t bring flowers. They don’t take you to nice restaurants. They don’t treat you with respect. They don’t want you to find out about their other girlfriends. They are BAD.

I must admit, I was one of those delusional girls that used to be attracted to the bad boy persona. Why? I think most women who are involved in these types of relationships either a) think they can change him, b) think that he will see that they are more special than the other girls he’s dated, or c) they’re delusional. In my case it was all three…I was wrong about (a) and (b) but I was totally on target with (c).

I asked Dale what he thought. He pondered the question for a moment and said “I think girls want guys that ultimately treat them bad because they love the drama and they fear that being with a nice guy will bore them to death.”

Right on, Mister.

But I do think that age has something to do with it too. The girl that called in was 22 years old. When I was 22 years old, I still thought that a gourmet dinner out was to be found at Macaroni Grill and that wine in a box was totally acceptable.

Think of it this way. Dating a bad boy is equal to having a fantastic night out, where you’re doing tons of tequila shots and dancing and laughing and having the time of your life. But your date doesn’t have any money so you put the whole bar bill on your credit card. And then the next day you wake up and you’re so hung over that you don’t think you’ll feel better until you throw up a kidney. That’s how a bad boy can make you feel.

Seriously girls! Didn’t you read “Shades of Grey??” (Spoiler alert!) Anastasia Steele fell for Christian Grey because he was handsome and debonair, but ultimately found out he was the baddest boy of all…and came to her senses by the end of the first book. (Now seeing how she was also into all that kinky whackery, she ultimately went back to him but she had a lot of bad boy drama in her life from that point on.)

“Do you think you’ll ever wish you had a bad boy instead of a computer programmer?” my cute husband asked me. “Because I can totally be bad.”

I giggled.

I looked over at my sweet husband and I tried to picture Dale being a bad boy, but all I could see was Darth Vader wearing an argyle sweater vest and carrying around a Mac instead of a light saber. It doesn’t work. Which is a good thing; because I love the fact that he brings me flowers and takes me to the best restaurants. I love that he doesn’t order the cheapest wine on the menu. I love that he prefers Sperry’s to black leather boots and an SUV over a Harley. I love that I don’t have to worry about where he’s been or if he’s going to call.

Now don’t get me wrong. He’s definitely not a pushover either. He lets me whine and complain about stuff but he definitely lets me know when I’ve reached my daily limit. He occasionally wears all black. He has a leather jacket. He rides a mountain bike instead of a motorcycle. And although he doesn’t carry around a light saber, I know he will always be there to protect me and keep me safe.

Plus he’s quite simply a good man….a really, really good man.

So my advice to that 22 year old girl from the radio station? Take note…reconsider dating a nice guy. They’re actually pretty awesome!

You may think you’ve found your own personal Christian Grey by dating a bad boy, but in the end, your heart will just end up more tangled up and spanked than Anastasia Steele’s backside.

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5 thoughts on “Why Do Women Love Bad Boys?

  1. Grat information for the young women who have no clue what a “real man” of integrity and character is like. I was married to a real man’s man…who thought of his family over himself. Always protecting..always planning for the future ….no matter if he survived or not! Thanks be to God he was my husband! They don’t hang out at the local watering hole..they are out there working! He will find you….if you’re looking for the right kind of person! You’ll be their “right kind of person”!

  2. Hey Dana, so true. When we are young we only want to party and have fun all night, and as we age we want to have more meaning in our lives. I find myself working with younger women these days, and as I listen to our conversations about love and dating, I find myself giving advice about dating the smart, nice guy. I really didn’t have anyone talk to me or any real role models back in my young days to mentor me, and I find great pleasure in assuring the young women to take heed of my advice because it’s so true that good guys are really worth spending your time with, not the bad ones.

    Now about the Christen Grey comments…..I think he was really a very good guy because he wanted nothing other than to take care of Ana, keep her safe, and above all else pleasure her every fantasy. :0)

    Enjoy reading your blog. Keep it up.

    • So glad you are enjoying my posts! I enjoy writing but it makes it much better when people like what I write! 🙂

      I agree there are a lot of good guys out there – I’m glad you are guiding the younger girls that the smart & nice guys are worth a chance. And as far as Christian Grey goes, I agree he was a good guy AFTER he met Ana, but before he met her? Not so much. (She was one of the very few that could actually change a bad boy!) 🙂

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